یادکش بخیر لقا خانم. خودش وقتی میخواست از کسی یاد کنه اینجوری میگفت. این روزها حسابی یادش می کنم.
کلانتر محلهی قدیمیمون بود. یه اتاق داشت روی مغازهی صوفی خدابیامرز و از اونجا همه چیو زیر نظر داشت. کی میره؟ کی میاد؟ چه جوری میره؟ با کی میره؟ کافی بود توی ذهنت تصمیم به کاری بگیری. اونوقت میدیدی همه محله با آب و تاب و کلی حواشی اضافه خبردار شدند!
یه عادت دیگه هم داشت این لقا خانم. همه ی محل از ریز روابطش با علی آقا خدا بیامرز خبردار بودند. یادمه میاومد به مامان می گفت: امروز یه شورت قرمز خریدم که برم جلو علی آقا معلق بزنم!
یکشب برادرم از راه سفر دوستش و همسر دوستش رو میاره خونه. اونم وقتی که هیچکس خونه نبوده و مسلما" لقا خانم اینو می دونسته. فرداش که مامان میاد هنوز از گرد راه نرسیده، خبرش میکنه که آقا پسرت که روش قسم می خوری آره و اینا!
برادرم که شنید، دیوونه شد. گفت: این زنیکه از توی شورتش این حرفها رو در میاره؟ از اون به بعد هر خبری توی محل پخش میشد، منبع خبر رو میگفتند: اَشورتکس ِ لقا!
حالا این که این روزا اینقدر یاد لقا خانم میکنم واسه اینه که میگم اگه لقا خانم یه سی سال جوونتر بود الان حتما" یا عضو فعال یکی از خبرگزاریهای رسمی بود یا رهبر فمینستهای خشتکی*!
* شاخهای از فمینیست که اعتقاد به احقاق حقوق زنان از طریق ترویج حرفهای خشتکی دارند.
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